A confession: I am vegan for the animals

I feel bit ridiculous writing this post (and not only because I should be writing a paper right now) because the fact that I am vegan for the animals is so clear in my mind. However, I have been realizing that this may not be so clear for others in my life.

This realization finally occurred to me when I read this post by Gena Hamshaw from Choosing Raw which was posted on Our Hen House early this year. The progression Gena describes of her own veganism as one transitioning from a perspective of health to one that is so much more meaningful very much parallels mine and really spoke to me. She is one of my favorite vegan bloggers and her writing always touches me deeply. Reading her story has helped me crystallize in my own mind my relationship with food and veganism and ultimately has lead me to this post and my desire to share this with you all.

Meet my new mug, another inspiration
 for this post that I found at Goodwill 

I first began eating a vegan diet because I believed it was the healthiest diet and ultimately the cure to all of life's ailments. Gena describes her "flirtations" with the eating disorder orthorexia, or the extreme preoccupation with eating a healthy diet and avoiding foods seen as unhealthy. While I don't think I ever crossed the line into this pattern of disordered eating I certainly embodied some of these unhealthy practices. For a while I truly believed that eating a vegan diet (or really a "plant-based diet" as all the health vegan site say) was the only way to be healthy. Now, I fully recognize the problems with this view and that there can be many diets that promote a healthy lifestyle. I also have moved on from looking at foods as "good" or "bad" or restricting certain foods because I viewed them as "unhealthy." Overall, my relationship with food is one involving much fewer rules, much less stress, and much more fun and enjoyment. These are things I especially value as my diet involves enough nonnegotiable restrictions with my food allergies.

Another thing that has made me realize this shift in perspective on food is the aforementioned paper I should be writing at the moment. In this assignment, for my online nutrition class, I had to track my food intake and feelings surrounding food for four days. As I was doing this I realized that I, for the most part, eat in response to my body's signals and also eat what sounds appealing to me at that time. Most of the time the foods I actually want to eat are also the foods I think will contribute the most to my health, like a giant kale salad. However, this is not always the case. I have a blog post planned where I will share with you the delicious nachos I made this past week which, while also containing healthful ingredients, were eaten mostly because I just plain wanted a huge mess of nachos!

So where does this leave me with my veganism? Well, let me tell you, if I were only in it for my health I would likely no longer be vegan. However, I am now wholeheartedly in it for the animals.

Somewhere along my journey of eating a vegan diet I began identifying myself as "a vegan" and really opening my heart and eyes to the animal message. I have learned of so many, unimaginable, cruelties and injustices experienced by animals and of the horrible way they are treated in our society. I could go on and on about the horrors of meat, egg, and dairy production but I do not feel the need to go into that here, I have relived it too many times. However, there are countless videos and articles out there if you want to learn more about the inherent cruelties of this system.

I do not think is it right the way animals are treated and killed in our society, and all over the world. Nor I do not think that this is necessary. We can live a healthy and fulfilled life full of no deprivation without eating or using animals for our own pleasure. In addition, living a vegan lifestyle is better not only for our planet but also for the other people on this planet. This recent report came out looking at our food system and where all of the calories we grow and raise end up. They found that an extra 1.5 billion people could be fed if we all ate a vegan diet. If we were to also stop making biofuels, we could feed an extra 4 billion people. The environmental benefits of eating a vegan diet have also been well covered. Three years ago, the UN even came out saying "A global shift towards a vegan diet is vital to save the world from hunger, fuel poverty and the worst impacts of climate change," about which more can be found here.

So, from my perspective, and from that of many, there is no reason not to be vegan.

To be clear, my purpose for writing this is not to shame or attack those of you who do not consume a vegan diet. While yes, I will honestly admit, I would be thrilled if everyone I know became vegan, I respect the right of each of us to make our own choices and live the life we want to live, just as I expect those around me to respect my decision to be vegan.

Up until this point I have experienced incredible support from my friends and family, which I am immensely grateful for. However, for quite some time there has been a little voice gnawing away at me, telling me something isn't right. I think until this point I have been hiding behind the health argument, something that has been especially easy to do because of my experience with my very complicated food allergies. But, I think it is time that I need to be clear. While I do not choose to eat a gluten-free and corn-free diet, I 100% choose to be vegan. It is a choice I make every day and a choice I plan to make every day for the rest of my life.

As this little voice has become stronger and stronger over the last year, I have also begun to experience more despair and feelings of isolation. I realize now that a lot of those feelings have come from the fact that I have not been forthcoming about these issues. These struggles reached their peak this past weekend where I spent much of my time curled up in bed, paralyzed by grief, anger, and hopelessness. I want to use my time on this earth to make it a better place and I know I cannot do that if I am not bold enough to share my opinions and experiences. There are many things I want to do, related to animals and diet as well as other issues, and I know I cannot do these things if I spend my time replaying the horrors of our world in my head like a broken record.

I wholeheartedly believe that we have to be the change we want to see in the world. If we don't do it, then who will?

I know I still have a long way to go to truly live a life as free of animal products as possible, for I do still own and use household and clothing items made from or tested on animals that I obtained before I had this fire burning under me. However, I am fully prepared to take the steps required to reach where I want to be and view my veganism as central to my identity. As such, I know I need to share this part of myself with those around me, for if I don't I know I will never be all that I can be.

My Story: Part 3, Finding Health

Hello and welcome to the final installment of my experiences with illness, recovery, and now health.

If you missed the first two posts, check them out:
Part 1
Part 2
                                                                                                                                                                   

My journey to where I am today was certainly not an easy one and it was filled with many missteps and hardships. However, thankfully, I have ultimately obtained a state of health I have never before experienced.

Additionally, having this experience has shown me the difference a supportive partner, family, and group of friends can make. Without all the wonderful people in my life it's doubtful I would have reached the point I have today. Having experienced illness and knowing that my symptoms could return in a heartbeat if I choose to eat the wrong chocolate bar or can of soup has also caused me to appreciate all that it means to be healthy.

Every day that I wake up without all the horrible symptoms I lived with every day I am thankful. Knowing what it means to have health taken from me has made me truly value what it means to gain it back. Being able to take a walk if I choose to, or do yoga, or whatever activity I feel like, without fearing I will collapse on the floor has an extremely liberating and exhilarating feeling.

Along with this appreciation I have found a passion to always seek better heath and happiness, a passion to experiment to find what works best for me, and a passion to learn as much as I can about nutrition, happiness, wellness.

Through this passion I have discovered the joy of cooking. There is nothing quite like preparing a wonderful meal from scratch, knowing 100% that everything in it is something I can and want to put into my body, and then getting to enjoy the fruits of my labor. As a result I don't even really mind doing the dishes!

I have also learned about our country's food system and how there are many things I do not agree with or support and that I would love to see change. Having this knowledge has pushed me to continue looking for more and to find a greater understanding of how food works in our modern day world.

Additionally, I have discovered how animals are treated in our food system, the negative impacts the production of meat and dairy foods has on our environment, as well as the health benefits that have been linked with eating a plant-based diet. Armed with this knowledge I have dedicated my food choices to those that are animal product and by-product free and now consuming a vegan, plant-based, gluten and corn free diet.

I have also, especially recently, taken the choices I make with my diet further, trying to make the best choices for my health and environment through every product I purchase or use. This especially has been a long transition as my budget does not allow a compete overhaul and replacement of my cosmetics, lotions, etc.

Exercise has become central to my life in a way it never has before. I no longer feel as though I need to exercise or that it is something I am supposed to do. Instead I genuinely enjoy the times I spend every day being active. Some days, especially during say finals week, this may mean only the 20 minute walk to campus, but even those 20 minutes can brighten my day. Most days, however, I am thankfully able to enjoy more activity. Currently I am loving my (almost) daily yoga practice. Not only does it get my heart pumping but it has provided me with an invaluable stress management technique.

Along those lines I can honestly say I am the happiest I have ever been. I find happiness all around me and even when my day feels completely overwhelming and full of negatives I can still find something good or at least know that there will be good just around the corner.

Amazingly, while I just completed the busiest quarter of my undergraduate career, when I reflect back on it I do not see three months filled with stress and breakdowns (although those things did happen from time to time) but instead feel that I found a peaceful and functioning balance between my responsibilities, perhaps even experiencing less stress and more enjoyment than previous, much less demanding, quarters.

I believe I have found health.

However, this does not mean I intend to sit back and relax, hoping to stay where I am without any effort. Just the opposite. I know that health is a lifelong commitment and that it is one that I am ready to make. Every day I consider my food choices and what they will do for my body, think about the products I am using and how they will impact me and the environment, assess the impact my actions and words will have on those around me, and continually search for more and more information to continue me on my pathway of health and well-being.

Currently, I am not perfect nor completely satisfied with myself or my life, I think that while "perfect" is not the goal that there are always things to improve upon. But no matter what, I look forward to striving to, and being able to, improve upon those things and know that I am doing what I can and want to do to be the healthiest person I can be.
                                                                                                                                                                   

Thanks for sticking through my long and drawn out story. I hope it gives you some insight into who I am and the perspective I come from.

Happy Saturday!

My Story: Part 2, Recovery

Hello again!

So if you stuck through my long post about "when I was sick" as I like to refer to it, then you are likely interested in hearing how I moved on from all of that nastiness.

Well, here it goes!
                                                                                                                                                                           

I had finally found someone who could help me, someone who had answers and the ability to help me take back my health.

Upon reviewing the paperwork detailing my history and past treatments, listening with respect and interest about the symptoms I was experiencing, and asking some surprising questions such as "were you a colicky baby?" my naturopath quickly told me she thought I had food allergies or sensitivities. She also told me these were likely paired with high levels of inflammation, gut and intestine damage, and nutritional deficiencies.

Sure enough, blood tests would show I was both iron and vitamin D deficient and upon going on an elimination diet, which removes the most common allergens, I immediately started to feel better. While it would take many months for all of my symptoms to go away, in less than a day of modifying my diet I was feeling better. I was less foggy, my headache had finally ceased for the first time in over a month, and while I still felt the dizziness it was much less pronounced.

Over the next 3 months my body began to heal.

I was on an anti-inflammatory and gut repairing supplement, vitamin supplements, and most importantly a new and improved diet.

An important hallmark of this elimination diet was slowly adding back in the foods I had removed and watching for reactions. Being a college student I of course first added coffee and dark chocolate and was enthused when my health continued to improve even with the addition of these wonderful food groups.

Things continued along the same path of improved health until Christmas when I discovered my first food sensitivity. It was one half of a Brussels sprout which had been cooked in chicken broth containing corn starch that did me in. And man did it do me in.

Within 30-45 minutes of eating that little half a Brussels sprout my ears were bright red and pounding, my heart was racing and hands shaking, I was nauseous and dizzy, and I had a migraine. We soon assessed the meal and sure enough the only thing I had not been regularly encountering was that small amount of corn starch in the broth on that one half of a Brussels sprout. And so, I discovered my very intense, long lasting negative reaction to any corn containing product and came to learn of my corn sensitivity/intolerance/allergy (take your pick!).

Since then I have discovered the far, far reach this sensitivity has and how much of our food (well not my food!) contains corn. For example, anything labeled dextrin, dextrose, maltodextrin, food starch, glucose, "malt" anything, xantham gum, honey, and many many more ingredients potentially, and likely, contains corn (for an extended list look here). This past weekend I rediscovered the many names for corn in processed food when my roommate's family graciously invited me over to dinner and had the unfortunate task of preparing a dinner I could partake in. I was quite heartbroken to see "dextrose" on an ingredient list, thus forcing me to refuse a dish that had been specially prepared for me. Nonetheless, it is quite an endeavor to uncover all the hidden corn in so many of our ingredients, a task that I still find myself having trouble with from time to time.

I also learned that any animal product or by-product coming from an animal that was fed corn was also off limits and that I didn't only have to read the ingredients of foods. I discovered the hard way, after taking one too many medications (nyquil anyone?) and feeling only worse than I had before, that anything going into or coming into contact with my body must be screened for potential corn products.

After brief, and painful, love affairs with each dairy and gluten I would also discover my lactose and gluten intolerances.

Despite hiccups along the way when I found myself unexpectedly poisoned by a food I am sensitive to, my health continued to improve. Eventually all of my previous symptoms disappeared (except during those hiccups) and symptoms I had never known were unhealthy or signs of illness disappeared as well. I found myself with more energy, getting deeper and more restful sleep, returning to my pre-illness weight, no longer experiencing stomach pains or discomfort, no longer experiencing digestive issues, having improvements in memory and mood, and just experiencing an overall sense of well-being. While there were still many hurdles to overcome, I was finally recovering and on a path towards health.
                                                                                                                                                                    

Well, there is a very brief summary of my recovery. There were many ups and downs throughout the process and "process" is definitely the way to describe it.

It took me a huge amount of time and energy to become in tune with my body the way I am today and to learn the way I should eat to feel my best.

However, through this process I have also discovered a passion for finding health in all aspects of my life and hope to help others do the same.

But, more on that next time!

Happy Thursday! Thanks for sticking with me through this series, tune in Saturday for the final installment!